It’s been a while. I’ve written many, many blogs in my head – they never made it to the screen. Saturday was an exceptionally wonderful day. Spent with family and good friends, the weather was perfect. Following is a collection of thoughts over the past few months.
Children
I make no secret of the fact that I am very proud of Beth and Walt (and their respective partners). These 4 young folks are blessings in our lives. As I watch them living out their passions in life, being true to their values and beliefs; I see hope for the future. When I think back to the first time I held them, so tiny and yet intimidating, I knew I was holding important parts of our future. I knew we had been given very precious gifts to care for. At the time, I learned about a new kind of love – a mother’s love. What I never dreamt, though, was the profound emotional bond – the intense love and admiration that continues to develop. I remembering looking at them in awe and wonderment as newborns – but never in my wildest imagination could I conceive the things they have achieved. I am in constant joyful anticipation of their next achievements.
Loss
August was emotionally painful for us. We lost our sister rather unexpectedly. We were blessed to be able to be with her for the night and holding her hands as she passed peacefully. Shortly after that, my Mom’s little pup, Rusty, was struck by a vehicle and killed instantly. It’s interesting the effect death can have – more than the sorrow bereavement brings. We experienced the blessing of being brought closer together in one instance, as well as the discomfort of a divisive and painful rift in the other. Something that stood out to me, though, (even though I have dealt with a number of deaths in the past) is the brevity of life. One minute – one breath there is life, then it’s gone. Even though in many cases, death is expected (and let’s be real here – we are all going to die); it’s never really expected. There is rarely a warning that lets you know when that last breath is coming. Please – never hold back in telling someone how precious they are to you, showing them, caring for them. Because you can literally be one breath away from them never getting to know that, or to hear your words. And yes, that applies to our furkids as well.
Self-care
I have had to learn this lesson so many times. Please, take time to put your own needs as a priority. No one can “make” you feel inferior or “less than” unless you allow it. Your thoughts are powerful. Don’t allow negative or toxic people to take up space in your life – even if they are family. It is important to realize that on some level(s), you may deeply care for a person – but if they are toxic to your well-being (mentally, physically, spiritually) – you are not compelled to keep them close. Care for them from a distance as long as necessary. Set your boundaries and realize that it is important to honor them. Respect for those boundaries must start within you.
Make time for your joy. Those things that are your passion – and bring joy into your life. Understand that what brings you joy may make no sense to the world. That’s okay. Don’t compare your joyful activities to others. Respect their differences – more importantly, respect your need for joy. It’s okay to take time to create beauty as you see it.
Bill took me for a plane ride to see the fall colors. The only time for at least a year that I have been in the plane. Yes, I know – all I had to do was ask. Instead, I prioritized things that I felt were more important to accomplish because they weren’t for me. My choice, can’t blame anyone else. There is a moment when you are flying – the time when the plane “rotates” – when you reach the speed necessary for the plane to fly – and the wheels lift off the ground. It is magical, the sense of being free of the ground and part of the air. This is when my heart soars and sings – and brings tears to my eyes. Tears of gratitude and joy. And this time, tears for the time that I didn’t put my wants on the front burner, tears for missed opportunities. I lost sight of the fact that the sky has looked really far away for a very long time. It got closer on Saturday – felt like home. IYKYK.
Moving Day
As our semi-annual moving day approaches, we find ourselves packing for warmer climes and tying up loose ends. We endure a fair amount of ribbing because of our trek south – “wimping out”, “afraid of the cold and snow”, going south to “get rest and not have to worry about life”. Judgment about lifestyle can be rather cruel and thoughtless. We worked hard to be able to travel if we choose. Since our home moves with us, maintenance is ongoing – and we do understand the demands of home ownership. We are not “afraid” of the winter weather. If need be, we would stay in Michigan. However, at the moment, we have the freedom and flexibility to choose to relocate to an area that we can enjoy outdoor activities through the winter months safely. When we leave Michigan physically, our cares and concerns for family and friends don’t cease – if anything, they intensify to a degree because we are physically distant. Please check the judgment at the door….
More thoughts later – find your grace.
Lert's Lessons in Grace 