It seems that I may be at one of those “cliff-jumping” experiences. You’ve probably seen the memes – about trusting God because he will either catch you or teach you how to fly. Well, I am standing at the edge and looking over…I know what “the cliff” is comprised of. It is made up entirely of my lack of confidence in my ability. (This isn’t related to the marathon, either!) I have a wonderful opportunity being offered to me; it is new, very closely aligned with personal and professional values that I appreciate, and fits so much better with what we are doing. My current “situation” is rapidly becoming unfriendly and uncomfortable. Just writing this out, it seems like a no-brainer. Run to the good! Run to the light! I’ve been dancing with this for the last month – actually, not dancing with but dancing around the issue. Today, God nudged me a little closer to the edge.
I am so thankful to have Bill to talk this stuff over with – I just wish I had his confidence. He has a quiet self-confidence that is peace-filled – at least from my vantage point – and he just carries on. Then there is me – watching the dirt and stones fall over the edge and trying to back step as quick as I can and at the same time, build the cliff edge further out.
It’s time for me to up my game, what I really want to do is back up a couple steps and run full-tilt to the edge and take a flying leap of faith and trust. Believe me – I have faith and trust that God already has this figured out. It’s me that I don’t have as much faith and trust in! Over this coming week I am going to back up a couple steps and launch….and you know what is going to happen? I am going to discover that the new plan is a million times better than what I have now. I am going to learn that I can trust myself (at least a little more than I think I can), and that I do know what I am doing. Bill will be able to say “I told you so”, and I will let him. And I will eventually chide myself for my lack of faith. Best of all – will be the huge “Thank you God” as I enjoy the new experiences.
I recognize the need for this leap of faith. It will most likely be a springboard for many other situations that I know I am stagnating in. I know that the feelings of restlessness, vague discontent, and general unease are symptoms that change is coming and needed. As uncomfortable as the thought of change is, I am grateful for the grace and wisdom God brings in nudging me that much closer to the edge. So, with His watchful eye and outstretched arms – I am ready – to be caught, or to fly – up to Him! I am not going to even pack a parachute for this one.
How about you? Are you on the edge or do you need to be? Is it time for a faith check?
A word about goals and marathons…they have not been forgotten. The marathon attempt was a very valuable lesson in so many ways. Much of that I am still thinking on, and will be for a while. One of the biggest blessings to come from the whole thing was the outpouring of kindness from my family and friends. That is still like a warm blanket I can wrap myself up in. The love it contains is a priceless gift. It is time for me to shift my focus for a time, but I am not giving up. Time to think about new goals and what direction we will head off in next. Besides, I think this next jump might help with decision making….
Ready to jump? Let’s go!
Lert's Lessons in Grace 