Yesterday was a life-changer. A couple weeks ago, I signed up for a 5k Color Run. I knew I needed a boost in my fitness efforts, because they were in a downward spiral and I felt like I had lost control. Color Runs are just plain happy events. Not about times, paces, or finish lines – but instead filled with laughter and color – lots of color!
As the event came closer, ideas started to form. Then the doubts started to attack – what if I can’t finish? On the inspiration-desperation spectrum – I knew that I had just hit desperation. I decided it was time to show myself what I was capable of accomplishing. With some heartfelt prayers, careful planning, checking weather and tides, I crafted a plan. Didn’t discuss it with Bill, my coach, or my friends. I did tell Bill about it after I had it figured out – and he offered to be a support/staging team. It was really tempting to take him up on the offer, but I declined – asking only that if I called him to come get me, that he would encourage me to finish unless it was physically not possible. This was between me, myself, and I.
Yesterday was almost perfect for what I had planned. Except the winds. But hey – it wasn’t raining! We started out with the Color Run – absolutely fun, delightful to see so many families out, kids laughing, and all of us drenched in color. Then, I just continued – stopped by to pick up my backpack filled with everything I thought I would need to carry me another 23.5 miles. In retrospect, I over-packed – but I also discovered some new snacks that are going to become part of my T & T fueling options.
Time was not my motivator – it was purely distance. I actually surprised myself with my time, especially considering carrying the backpack, the soft sand, and winds. The distance – what an absolute joy! I didn’t use music, podcasts, or audiobooks to entertain myself. I started with a smile, and honestly never lost the smile. I didn’t stop to look at shells, or look for shark’s teeth. If my thoughts started wandering, I brought them back to the moment. To the step I was taking at that moment, with curiosity for the next step. I did chat on the phone with Walt for a bit, and checked in with Bill to reassure him that all was going well. Bill surprised me around mile 22 on the beach with Piper – stopping me just long enough for a hug and a kiss and wonderful words of encouragement. Then he met me at my finish line. There were no medals, no race or finisher shirt, no post-race parties. I didn’t need them. All I wanted was accomplished. All I needed at that moment was there – Bill waiting with my hug. (And Piper with puppy kisses.) Then came the happy moments of sharing with my family.
The “marathon” concept no longer scares or shames me. I went farther, and could have actually kept on going. I didn’t need to, though. I learned much about myself yesterday. I AM stronger than I think, more capable than I am aware, and braver than I thought possible. My “brave” is mine and mine alone.
My lessons from yesterday –
~With God, all things ARE possible.
~I am stronger than I know.
~I am capable.
~My joy doesn’t come from other people. Instead, when I operate from joy and love, I can give and love more fully.
~Drama is self-created, when you feel insecure and need attention or distraction.
~Comparison, as they say, truly is the thief of joy.
~Choose your personal power team wisely.
~Focus on now, this moment, and let go of the past. Don’t fret about the next step – just take this step now. The next step will follow. Worry won’t make it better, instead, it will steal the happy out of this step.
~Keep color and laughter close and present.
~Freely express your gratitude to God.
~Freely express your gratitude to others.
~I am enough just as I am, and excited to see what that will look like as each day arrives.
Find your Grace Lesson – I wish you joy on the journey, and a journey that has no end!