Somewhere around week 9 – and about 4 months before marathon time. We’ve been on vacation, (I know – our lifestyle IS a vacation, right?) and my mind is in warp drive exploring the possibility of a new career (think terrified, excited, afraid to hope, and overwhelming “are you crazy?”). And, I’ve lost it. “It” being my motivation to exercise. This is a huge problem, and it is compounding daily. Maybe motivation is a poor choice of words – but I’m just not feeling it – and at the same time – I miss it more than I can describe.
I am spending too much “thinking” time and not enough “doing” time. I am grumpy, physically feel blah, starting to feel achy, not sleeping well…kinda sounds like the flu, right? It’s not – it is simply sweat deprivation. Failure to achieve meaningful sweaty type activity on a daily basis. I know this, because I feel it deep in my soul. And my soul is complaining.
Soul: Hey – lazy @$$ – another day you haven’t been sweating…
Me: The day is not over yet…but I have a lot to do.
Soul: Like?
Me: Ummm, I should make a list.
Soul: You? Make a list? Why? So you can lose it (again)?
Me: Not nice.
Soul: Truth. What are you waiting for? Do you really want to feel the way you do now? For forever? Why are you avoiding what you know will make you feel better?
Me: I’m busy. Making a list.
Soul: Seriously – why did you sign up for those runs and the marathon? What is NOT moving going to accomplish?
Me:
Soul: Get over yourself. What is really going on here? Fear? Hurt? Not good enough? You know what works. Go back to Boot Camp basics. Nutrition, commit to 30 minutes a day, use all the terrific resources you have here. Mostly – believe in yourself. You did it once.
Me: That was then.
Soul: And this is now. NOW. End this blog post, get up, and go move. 30 minutes – I dare you. And while you’re at it, forget the past. Let go of future fear. Live in this moment. Be excited about what is coming next – God has great plans.
Me: Let’s go?
Lert's Lessons in Grace 