Author: mommalert

Mom and I went hunting for more “Freds”.  I think she renamed them, even though I was calling them Fred 1, Fred 2, Fred 3, and Fred 4.  They were all pretty advanced in their caterpillar lives, so they are already all in chrysalis form now.  We are hoping to find some smaller ones so that we may watch them grow as caterpillars.

I think that watching the lifecycle of a butterfly should be a mandatory experience at least every couple years.  There is just so much to learn.  Looking at my own life, I can see many caterpillar to butterfly experiences.  Even a couple that involved having my “wings” crippled by well-meaning attempts to get them working before they were ready.

Saturday, 8/12 was the day to set new personal records for longest distance running, and most steps in a day.  It was a much happier run, even though it started at 4:45am.  I am not much of a morning person, but I think I could make an exception for running.  It was dark, peaceful, and friendly.  I listened to and watched the world wake up.  The birds provided music, the sunrise provided glorious skies.  The scenery – well, I ran 20 miles in circles around the campground.  I wasn’t much paying attention to that, just enjoying the solitude and seeing the occasional meteor flit across the sky.  I’ll have one more day to set new records before the marathon.  Kind of scary to think about not running long distances for 3 weeks…and at the same time, a relief.

It’s time to start thinking about new BSGs, fuel for thinking on that last long run.  I have a feeling the new BSGs will look suspiciously like the things I called LSGs.  The challenging part will be admitting to them, since part of my mind is still telling me they are of no consequence and to let them go.  Which is exactly the kind of red flag that tells me I need to revisit them.

Prevenient grace.  I love this concept.  It was part of the sermon on 8/13.  Lots of good stuff packed into that sermon, including the statement “in storms of life, we need a revelation more than a reason”, and the gentle reminder to remember Whose we are, and who He is.  Prevenient grace – all that wonderful grace God showers on us before we know better, and/or in spite of ourselves.  There are several definitions of prevenient grace, or interpretations depending on your belief system.  For me, it represents so much, and is an integral part of my foundation.  Grace in general – reminds me that it is not my power or ability to achieve things.  Instead, it is submitting to the abundant grace in my life – remember Whose I am, and who He is.  Humility, service, gentleness, gratitude….the things I need to work hardest on.

 

 

We are on a trip back “home” – our original hometown at the beginning of our marriage.  The place where we grew our family.  This morning, we revisited our church home.  It felt like walking into “home” the same love, warmth and grace just enfolded me as I stepped through the door.  As I sat with my head bowed and eyes closed during prayer, I was transported back – I felt like I could open my eyes and our kids would be 15 years younger, sitting beside us in the pew.  Like all the other kids would still be kids, and like some very dear friends would still be with us as we worshiped together.

We were joined at the campground by some very special friends from “back then”.  They camped with us.  Their three lovely daughters joined us and it was wonderful to appreciate the beautiful adults they have become.  At church, we were delighted to meet another young man that was only about 2 when we left.  We didn’t get to meet his brother, a little older, but still a child when we left.  I have been fortunate to follow these and several other “kids” that grew up with our kids, thanks to social media.  It is such a wonderful feeling – warm fuzzies if you are familiar with the term – to look at these young men and women today.  As if they were our own children, we look at them with pride and amazement.  Pride, not for ourselves, but for them – knowing that they are growing in faith and being faithful to God.  Amazement, because of what they have and continue to accomplish; they are kind, compassionate, and just plain fun to watch grow up.  Even though our kids are the same age, Bill and I are the “older” parents in the group.  What a joy to see the parents of these young adults living such a solid example for their children.  Family values, living in a Christ-centered home, community involvement, and service to others.

We have been fortunate to spend some extra time; share meals and fellowship, as we rekindle friendships.  Although it doesn’t feel like rekindling – more like picking up where we left off – like it was yesterday instead of 14 years ago.  We’ve even added an extra day to our visit so that we may add more friend visits.  What an incredible blessing to have the luxury to be able to do this.

It’s a good thing to surround yourself with people that are joyful, positive, and inspirational.  Circumstances may dictate physical separation from these people.  The very best part?  Realizing that you are only separated by physical distance and time.  Learning that simply by closing the physical distance, you are still connected, still share the same joys.

This visit has also been a time to reconnect with family-another heart-warming joy.  This new (for us) life-style continues to be a blessing beyond belief.  We are cherishing the opportunity to celebrate friendships – old and new, celebrate family, and celebrate our time together.

I see this grace lesson as both a reminder and a challenge.  A reminder of how precious people – not things – really are.  The challenge?  To make the conscious effort to keep in touch, get in touch, and stay in touch.  Tell those special people how special they are in my life, and thank them.  Also, to seek out and reconnect with other friends.  Don’t wait, it’s too precious to put off…..

The past week has been a time for setting records.  My Garmin cheerfully tells me that I have set a new record for most steps in a week, most steps in a day, and farthest distance run.  My body is agreeing, and letting me know that it isn’t used to this stuff.  Yesterday was a new distance, ONLY an extra 8 and I will be at the marathon distance.  Next week will bring me even closer.  I am still embarrassingly naïve about this sports stuff.  Somehow, in my simple mind, I didn’t think training runs would hurt quite so much.  I mean, it’s not like a race – just covering the distance, right?  I was rather upset to discover that I was the proud owner of blood blisters on my toes. I was sharing my outrage with my daughter, only to be cheerfully informed – “just wait until your marathon Mom, I totally trashed my feet on my first one”!  At least she offered some constructive suggestions to get them to heal before next week’s long run.  And she reassured me that the training stuff hurts just as much as the real deal.  Yippee, yeah, and oh, boy I can’t wait…..

One of my running heroes and inspirations was featured in a newspaper article.  I learned that he never listens to music while running.  I decided to give that a try yesterday.  Kudos to you, Jeff.  I could only tolerate my own thoughts for 12 miles.  I had to turn my music on.  12 miles of your own thoughts are scary as hell, and way more intense than I was prepared for.  We won’t discuss those 12 miles – the details are ugly.  I have the utmost respect for runners, and those running without music are at the top of the list.  So why am I doing this?  I considered this yesterday for a couple miles.  I decided it will take more time to figure this out, so I’ll just continue running until I understand it.

Gratitude.  I should be more grateful for all the blessings I have.  This morning as I was trying to walk upright without putting pressure on my feet, and without waddling like a pregnant woman that is a month overdue, I realized that instead of grumbling, I should be grateful I was able to actually move myself that far and that long yesterday.  At church, there were even more reminders.  When I walked into the sanctuary to put my Bible and purse down so I could help Mom before the service, the pianist was playing “Love Lifted Me”.  I could literally feel loving arms around me, and the warm presence of an all-encompassing love.  Wonderful feelings of gratitude, hope, and appreciation enveloped me.  God is pretty amazing about pointing out “little” things when I need it.

Fred.  At the beginning of my last 4 miles yesterday, I found Fred.  He was minding his own business, and by the looks of him, about ready to start his journey to transform into a chrysalis.  Mom likes to raise Monarchs, and set them free in her lovely garden.  We haven’t found any “cats” for the past couple years, so when I spotted Fred, I knew he was going on a road trip.  God conveniently placed an empty Gatorade bottle next to Fred.  I crammed some milkweed leaves into the bottle, and a stick, and inserted Fred.  I offered a quick prayer of thanks followed by the request that Fred would survive the remaining 4 miles of the run.  I’m pretty sure that after having his brains rattled for 4 miles, Fred is really looking forward to leaving the caterpillar life behind…and it looks like he will be doing that soon.  I know there is a lesson here, it is painfully (pun intended) obvious.  Apparently it’s time for me to give up being a caterpillar (again)…and I should be grateful that we are given numerous opportunities to transition from caterpillar to butterfly in our lives – Fred only gets one shot.

Lessons learned:  mileage is mileage, hurts whether you call it training or “for real”, gratitude is an inside attitude job, and I need to be a whole lot more brave to run silent than I am right now.  I think I’ll start building my playlist for the marathon….and watch Fred show me how it’s done.

 

Thinking about relationships and how you respond to the question “how are you doing/how are things going?”.  Specifically, three categories:  “just fine”, “all good”, and “how it really is”.

I’m not sure how you are, but for me, a “fine”, or “just fine” answer to the question “how are you doing?” can be as loaded as “nothing” to answer the question “what’s wrong?”.  Those are my pat answers when I am either really upset about something, or just not able to talk about it.  Bill visibly flinches when I respond with either of those answers.

In all three categories, I’m sure we have all had plenty of experience both giving and receiving.

“Just fine” relationships  – Just fine is OK for superficial relationships or passing acquaintances.  If just fine means “holy cow watch out, I’m about to blow” then the relationship doesn’t belong in this category-and it’s probably time to duck and run for cover.

“All good, or I’m good” relationships  – they fall somewhere in between the other two.  Maybe this is a “just fine” relationship that is moving to a new level, or someone you feel comfortable with, but not ready to trust in confidence.

“How it really is” relationships  – The very best!  These very gifted relationships see beyond the “just fine”, “all good” or “I’m good”.  They know just when to “call bullshit”, and when to respect the boundary and be patient.

There is a place for each of these in our lives.  Obviously, every person we meet is not going to fall into the last category.  As I thought about this, I thought about which of these I fall into for other people – not just how they are categorized for me.  I also realized that each category has interesting characteristics.

Just fine requires little energy, brief contact, you know – passing acquaintance, passing the time of day.  All good/I’m good – more energy if you’re willing, more effort.  How it really is requires effort on both sides, demands participation, and can get a little dicey.  I think everyone needs at least one of these (how it really is) relationships – both as a giver and a receiver.   You have the guts to reply “everything is not just fine”, or “really?” to I’m good – because you know – and care – that things are not fine or good.  By the same token, you easily recognize when “fine” or “good” are honest and truthful answers.

While I am thankful for being able to enjoy all 3 types of relationships, I am profoundly grateful for my “how it really is” friends.  They are few and far between, and a blessing beyond belief!

Just the title brings thoughts of grace, doesn’t it?  Recently, including the time we were at Oshkosh, I was blessed with the opportunity to consider the friends in my life.  There were/are so many reasons to thank God for bringing these amazing people into my life.

New friends…I know it was no coincidence that Gay and her family camped next to us for the week.  A simple conversation revealed a common “interest” that brought us together.  We share a journey – one that I have already been on, and one that she is just embarking on.  It will be a very sad journey, and I pray she will find the support, love, and strength that I was blessed with.  Even if we never make contact again, she knows that there is another person out there that is praying for her often, thinking of her, and sending healing, peaceful thoughts her way.  She also knows that she can reach out to me anytime if she chooses.

Old friends…We were absolutely delighted to renew an “old” friendship from our past life in Monroe.  Kevin came to Oshkosh, and let us know he was at the airshow.  We connected, and spent several days enjoying not only aviation, but renewing and catching up.  Brenda and Kevin joined the church we attended in Monroe, bringing their three beautiful girls into our church family.  They shared a youth ministry responsibility with Bill and me, what a wonderful time in our life.  We may have been the leaders, but I was the student – I learned so much from the kids of this special group as well as from the other leaders.  When we moved away, we lost touch with our Monroe “family”.  It is truly sad that is it so easy to let that happen.  Next week, we are going to go back “home” for a couple days and renew a few more of those friendships.

Now friends…I am so thankful for your presence in my life.

Some of you are virtual friends/internet friends.  I will admit that when social media introduced itself in my life, I did not put much stock in online friendships.  My very traditional self thought that friendships required face to face contact.  I have since learned that the internet provides a wonderful opportunity to find like-minded friends that I would have otherwise never met.  Yes, I know all the cautions about not “really” knowing who you are communicating with.  However, I have had the distinct joy of meeting many of these friends in person, to discover that they are indeed as wonderful and authentic in person – even more so in person.

My real, in person, friends – I am so thankful that God allows our paths to cross.  Just knowing you are there is comforting.  Each of you are so gifted and talented, I appreciate the joy and dimension that you bring into my life.  I love the fact that some of you in this category are family members.  For some, “family” is not always synonymous with friendship.  I realize what a blessing I have in this.

It always amazes me when, after not having seen or talked to a friend, within a few minutes of “catching up” that you feel you have never really been apart.  These are indeed treasured friends.  And you can feel the grace that gently envelops you, wrapping you in a warm hug of shared memories, pleasure in your friend’s joys that you may have missed, and that ability to share in the sorrows of their troubled times.  Grace is also in the warmth and joy of renewing and growing that friendship as often as the opportunity presents itself.

Celebrate your friendships, in whatever form.  Make the time, it’s that important!

It certainly is no secret that we have spent the week at the EAA Airventure Airshow in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.  If you have the faintest interest in aviation – this is the place for you.  If you’re not sure if you’re interested – this is the place to find out.  If you’re not into aviation, don’t go, I guess.  Somebody has to keep the rest of the world going.  This post is not about aviation, but what you find at this magical place.

If you’ve never been, it is hard to imagine – actually impossible to envision the scope of this event.  This year was so well attended that extra parking lots and camping sites were added.  Wittman Field becomes THE busiest airport in the world – literally – for this week.  That is not where the magic is.  Imagine a gathering of approximately 500,000 people with a common interest – from all over the world.  Imagine being able to see that interest represented in historical, current, conventional, unconventional, and conceptual fashion – all in the same place.

Within the first five minutes of being “at the show”, I felt giddy and overflowing with happy.  In this place, I find that childlike wonder and amazement – that feeling of knowing that anything is possible.  This place is alive with possibility and passion, this is where dreams come true and you can see them in the sky.  There is no age limit, either.  Almost without exception, you can walk up to a friend you haven’t yet met and easily strike up a conversation-after all, you’re there for the same reason.

Your dreams are given wings, and you believe that everything is possible.  I even looked into aerospace careers at one of the college displays-and bless those kids – they treated me like it was possible for old ladies!  I didn’t really have an agenda as we sometimes do when we plan our annual pilgrimage – sometimes we are very focused.  This year, I wanted to be sure to learn a new building technique – learned how to rivet sheet metal; wanted to learn more about electronic flight bags – attended three forums; attend the events planned to support women in aviation – I did; and learn some safety “stuff” to make me a better pilot – I did.  I also wanted to meet at least one new “friend” a day – blew right past that plan.  If you know me, you know that I am not a very outgoing person most of the time.  I’m working on that, and this week provided me with ample opportunity.  The rest of the time was spent absorbing, learning, imagining and dreaming.

One of my favorite places to visit is the NASA display.  I grew up with the space program.  The technologies that are out there just continue to amaze me.  We talked with several of the representatives from the different “branches” in NASA.  I am in awe of the brilliant minds and warm personalities of these young men and women.  Their enthusiasm is contagious, their inspiration is magnificent.

I still have my weekly admission bracelet on – right next to my Well Fit Tribe band, and my Grace bracelet (my arm is starting to look like a billboard for my passions and interests).  Bill and I laughed about taking them off (the admission bracelets).  I told him that I really wanted to keep it on for a while yet.  It reminds me of the incredible joy potential of this past week.  It is so sad that as we become adults, we lose our ability to discover and wonder and be amazed and believe in our dreams as easily as we did as children.  We didn’t know about all the rules then, all the can’ts, shouldn’ts, won’t works, – all the reasons that we shouldn’t just believe that we can make magic happen.

My wish – for you and for me – is that we can find that place where dreams are possibilities, passions prevail, and possibilities are realities.  And that we can have that every day.  Resurrect your inner child and make regular play dates.  Think about your “Oshkosh”.  Why does it make you feel so strong?  So possible?  So happy?  What can you do to integrate that into your everyday?  Find your dreams, possibilities, and passions.  Believe in them, and they will happen!

As I am closing in on one of my BSGs, I started thinking about my next BSG.  Something funny happened…I started thinking about several little scary goals.  The kind of goals that pop into your mind, and always get pushed to the back.  The ones you discount – not big enough to work for, and yet, they linger.  They niggle in your brain, and poke you hard every once in a while.  But you still just shove them back in the corner until “someday” when you have time, or nothing better to do.

I pulled a couple of those LSGs out and looked at them, pondered them, and I am not pushing them back in the corner yet.  As I examined them, I made some pretty important discoveries.

First, I think we should not classify goals as big or little – they are all important.  To call them little, minor, or someday goals – you’re just fooling yourself.  If it’s a goal, it’s important.  If you minimize its importance, maybe it really is a big goal that you’re just not willing to own up to?

Second, clearly define scary.  I can’t let myself say scary, and use that as an excuse to avoid the goal.  Scary, relative to my goals, is not a “bad” scary.  I am redefining my “scary goals” as a goal that is a Stupendously Challenging, Achievable, Real, (and inspires) Yearning.  That may be corny, but acronyms work for me, what can I say?

Third – don’t get caught up in thinking that once a goal is achieved, you’re off the hook.  Nope, no way, no how.  Doesn’t work like that.  A goal is a milestone – a stepping stone on your journey.  Plan early, avoid the rush.  I am lining all those little goals up in plain sight.  They remind me of Weebles – those little toys with the slogan “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”.  You can poke them and push them, and they just keep popping back upright.

The more I look at those LSGs, I realize they are giants in ant costumes.  They involve moving so far out of my comfort zone that I will need my GPS, and even then, my comfort zone won’t be in the same place anymore when I return.  Oh my gosh, what if I tell someone what even one of those goals is?  I mean, it might be considered stupid, not worthy of the time it would take, self-serving, vain, or just plain ridiculous.  Or, would it?  Is that just my way of saying “you don’t deserve that because it would make you happy”?

WOW, I mean, really – watch out for the little ones – it’s kind of looking like the marathon might be a warm-up for some of those little suckers.  I have learned something kind of helpful – it’s a good idea to make friends with your goal.  You have to believe in it, and convince it to believe in you.  It will make the relationship easier!

So, what LSGs are you hiding on the shelf?  Why?  Whatcha gonna do about them?  Hint:  The answer should not involve calling Ghostbusters!

I’m off to consider important goals of varying sizes, shapes, and colors.  Join me?

 

Today was a beautiful, full-of-grace kind of day.  I have been anticipating today with equal parts of excitement and fear – today is the day I will run my longest distance yet.  We are in Escanaba, not super familiar with the town, so yesterday we scoped out possible running opportunities for me.  This morning, I asked Bill to take me and drop me off – and I would call when ready for a pick-up.

Instead of dropping me off, Bill went off in one direction, and sent me off in the other.  This wonderful guy set his own record by logging 13.4 miles!  When I discovered that he had stayed near, I almost cried.  He has put up with my crazy in so many ways – and continues to support each new crazy that comes along.  This is my first grace of this day – realizing that God brought this wonderful man into my life – even though I have done nothing good enough to deserve him.

The next grace was the message to let go of expectations – and this was reinforced in several formats this morning.  Emails, posts, devotional reading, everywhere I turned.  What else could I do?  I let go of any expectation I might have been holding on to, and set off to find joy and dance with the excitement and fear.  I am a slow runner – I don’t care.  (In fact, lots of people walk faster than I run – but that is their journey – not mine.)  I say this about being slow to frame the picture here – 16 miles is a lot of thinking time!  Usually, I plug in my headphones at the onset – not today.  Today, I spent several miles with myself and my thoughts to listen to.  After a bit, I plugged in to what I normally play.  Unusually, that wasn’t comfortable today – so I opted for the setting that said “just run”.  I’ve never used that one before, and am really glad I was introduced to it today!

I was pretty sure I had calculated what I needed to get my intended 15 miles in.  Endorphins, joy, sunshine, and a whole host of other factors can really mess with your mind…at about 10.5 miles, I quickly did the math in my head – and came up 2 miles short if I didn’t add more distance.  I recalculated again, and still came up short by a mile.  Third calculation – and I decided I better add a mile at least, and then I could just finish up whatever I needed when I got back to where I started.  Conveniently, there was a cemetery – so I ran through the cemetery.  What an amazing place to run!  (Yup, more grace!).  Gratitude for the veterans – and this was a pretty old cemetery, so many wars were represented.  Appreciation for the longevity, and long marriages.  Sorrow for those who died at a young age.  And for myself – thankful that I was “topside”, and grateful that runs like this will hopefully keep me that way longer…  Next to the cemetery was the airport – and well, you really shouldn’t just run past the airport without stopping to say “Hi!”.

The next grace was found at 13.3 miles, according to my Garmin.  At that distance, I realized that every step I took was exploring new distance territory.  Almost 3 miles of “new”!  With that realization, each step became a joy, and a sort of prayer of thanks to God for this body.  I’m pretty sure it can do so much more than I ever gave it credit for – I really need to take better care of it!

Bill walked toward me, and met me for the last mile in.  We walked it together – holding hands for part of it (holding hands is THE BEST!).  It still counts – the walking part – we covered the miles.  Life is really so good – so full of grace, we just have to be open to it.  Be intentional about seeking it out, and not be so busy that we just walk right past it.

In two weeks, I expect to have the opportunity to set another new distance record for myself.  I will enjoy the excitement, the anticipation, the wonder, and yes – the fear.  And once again, joy and grace will be the reward.

What does this mean to you?  Look up the word ‘present’ – so many choices for meanings.  As I consider this simple statement, I can see many grace opportunities.

We live in a time that is rushed, multi-tasking is valued, and competition for our time and attention is fierce.  I’m sure we have all had the experience of trying to interact with someone – in person, on the phone, or even just trying to schedule time – and it is evident that the other person is not ‘present’.  Those times when you’re pretty sure you could start spouting nonsense, and you would get nods of assent, smiles, and mumbles of agreement.  Or you could get up and walk away from the conversation and not be missed?  How do you feel when you try to bring up that subject at a later time and you’re met with a blank stare?

Now, maybe the harder question…how often do you do that to others?  Ouch!  When was the last time you put down your electronics (or, gasp, turned them off) and actually made eye contact with the person that is talking to you.  Now the tricky part – did you really focus on what they were saying, or were your eyes glazed over and your mind on the next ten things you needed to do?  Again, ouch!  This is something that I need to work on.  I know that I am guilty.

Being present – focusing on the person, listening intently, actively participating in conversation – what an awesome gift (present) to give.  Think about how you feel when someone offers you the incredible gift of their time and attention.  It doesn’t cost anything financially.  Have you been on the receiving end of someone’s undivided attention?  It can actually be unnerving – I think we have become so used to being ignored that having undivided attention can actually make you kind of squirmy.

My challenge is to be better at being present – and see how many people I can make squirmy!

 

 

We are spending this week in Alpena, MI with Civil Air Patrol (CAP) – a volunteer organization that we belong to, and have for quite a long time.  CAP was a family activity for us when the kids were younger, and Bill and I continue, as does Beth.  Michigan Wing (MIWG) – CAP on the state level – has an annual “encampment”, aimed primarily at youth (although there are leadership opportunities for adults as well).  I could write volumes on the positive aspects of this program for both youth and adults, but I want to focus on grace and inspiration.  If you would like to know more, or chat about whether it might be a good fit for you or your children, feel free to contact me.  (No, you don’t have to be a pilot, your children don’t have to commit to a future in the military, and YES, if you are interested, there is a place for you!)  There are leadership opportunities for everyone.

I want to share the amazing amount of grace that flows during this week (not to mention the months leading up to this event in planning and working together as a team).  MIWG is filled with a diverse group of adult volunteers that are very generous with their time and talent.  They commit unbelievable amounts of time and energy to ensure that the cadets have an outstanding experience.  Some of these members are “legendary” – their reputation is well known and respected.  Many have been in the program as cadets (youth) and have continued on as seniors (adult members).  A fair number are new to the experience and are respected for the gifts and talents they bring.  Everyone is working toward a common goal, the experience is the living definition of teamwork.  I would guess that there are between 75 and 100 adult volunteers – most having a duty day of at least 8 hours for 9 days straight.  That doesn’t count the planning hours, travel hours, time, and personal expense.  This is a sizeable financial aspect to consider, but is a fraction of the value compared to the value of time, expertise, knowledge, and genuine concern expended by each adult.

The inspiration – that is apparent in the youth as well as the adults.  I can’t imagine anyone being in this environment and not being inspired to be more, to be better, and to share what they have acquired here.  Saturday morning is graduation, and is preceded by Pass In Review.  I have lost count of the number of encampments I have attended, but I can say in all honesty that I have yet to make it through a Pass In Review dry-eyed (especially the year that Beth was the Cadet Commander).  These young people, our cadets, are truly inspirational.  All those amazing adult senior members?  They take a back seat during this ceremony and let the cadets shine.

This year, I didn’t have a role at encampment.  I watched from the sidelines, renewed old friendships, and soaked up the grace and inspiration that has flooded the area.  If we stay for Pass In Review, I will load my pockets with Kleenex, and fill my being with more grace and inspiration!