Lert's Lessons in Grace

When I stop and consider that God created each of us – unique and beautiful, with an equally unique set of gifts and talents – I am truly amazed and humbled.  The thought that He took the time to design me, with my own special set of gifts, talents, and quirks is just mind-blowing.  What I fail to remember far too often is that He created everyone that way.

Bill and I led a worship service last week that centered on caring for each other.  My focus was bringing your gifts and talents to this effort.  Some people are generous from the heart in sharing…it is an obvious act of love on their part, and often appears effortless.  The other extreme is found in those individuals that may be highly gifted but choose to hold on tightly and not share their gifts.  I’m not talking about financial gifts, although they certainly are a possibility.  Each of us “came” with abilities that don’t require money – they usually resemble acts of service.  Much like a jigsaw puzzle, we need to combine the pieces to see the beautiful picture revealed.

So, I started thinking about why someone might withhold their “puzzle piece”.  The first thing that came to mind was the need to have control.  As in, if I withhold my gift, I have control or power over others’ happiness/joy/peace.  I have the power to let them be happy or not.  Or perhaps a need to control in retaliation for having had that happen to oneself.  If we could just remember that we are all unique – but we really were created to be in community – would that improve our respect for each other?

I have belonged to a myriad of groups/communities in my life – I think we all have.  It starts in school and continues throughout life.  Social groups, volunteer organizations, school, work, church – all communities within the larger community of our lives.  One of the downfalls of group dynamics is the tendency for cliques to form.  I’ve noticed that when this happens, the effectiveness of the group is adversely affected.  More energy is spent on aligning and eliciting support for the “group within the group” and excluding those deemed not appropriate than on the original purpose of the group.  When this happens in the workplace, productivity and morale are seriously affected.  In school, learning becomes a struggle.  Volunteer organizations lose members, lose focus, and flounder or collapse.  In church, divisions occur, members leave, faiths and beliefs are challenged.  In social groups – much the same…members leave, support and energy wanes.

In all of these settings, people come and go without cause.  The group dynamic changes – is fluid with the members of the group because the talent/gift makeup shifts.  That is different – rarely is anyone negatively impacted by these changes.

Having observed, participated in, and been a victim of “cliquish” activity (no, I’m not proud of it…) – you would think I would remember the lesson.  It does get a little easier to remember each time, though.  I’ve watched good, dedicated people forced to leave the workplace, dynamic leaders swayed and persuaded to compromise their integrity, and strong and long friendships destroyed.  In every case, when I look back, the person responsible for organizing the “opposition” either felt threatened, jealous, or perhaps too closely identified with the person they were targeting.  At the time, they seemed like a dynamic leader with just concern for the group.  Different ideas, a different appearance, different skills and talents – whatever it was – it was a perceived threat to that member of the group.

Somewhere along the line, we’ve lost sight of the positive effects of diversity and community.  Instead of being afraid of or threatened by someone’s different skills/thoughts/abilities – we need to remember to embrace them – or at least consider them.  Instead of needing to control every situation, we need to realize that no one ever is really “in control”.  Build up instead of tearing down.  Bring your gifts to the table, pass them around, and don’t be afraid to partake of another’s generosity is sharing their gifts.

My example for the service was baking bread.  Some people were given “gifts” of ingredients.  Everyone was given the “gift” of helping knead.  If any one person had withheld their “gift”, we would not have had a loaf of bread.  Bill’s example was showing pictures from some mission trips we participated in.  Mission trips are powerful.  In our case – the recipients received physical benefit – improvements to their home and fellowship with the volunteers.  The volunteers on these trips received so much more…we were given the precious, priceless gift of caring for others, ourselves, and God’s creation.

Think about your gifts and talents.  Think about your “communities” that you are a part of.  How do you join the two?  I’ve been pondering this a lot lately – you have lots of time to do this when you are clearing up storm fallout and playing with the chainsaw and loppers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This has taken just a bit too long to post – but want to share the joy.

Mom (Thelma) and I (Betty) on the road with Champ.

Geological expedition at Fumee Creek.  We make a habit of stopping here to explore from bottom to top.  The falls are lovely!

Another fun stop to explore before we made it to The Farm.

Meet “Tink” – first time Mom and I met a hedgehog!

The furkids….

Family – so much love!

Feathered friends…

The trip home…

I didn’t take enough pictures of The Farm – but I have the pictures in my heart.  What a wonderful trip this was!

Interesting doesn’t begin to describe this week…

On Sunday – Bill and I presented the worship service at church.  We talked about caring for God’s creation, specifically caring for each other.  That’s kind of been on my mind all week.  Sunday afternoon we packed up and moved again, this time into Cadillac to the State Park for 2 weeks.  We are smack dab in the middle – parked by the canal – between Lakes Mitchell and Cadillac.  When I walk toward Lake Cadillac in the morning, I am treated to the sunrise.  Then we visit Lake Mitchell in the evening for sunset.

Monday was day 1 of storm clean-up at our little cabin.  Bill got me a chainsaw – smaller than his – which is a really good thing.  We decided to aim for 4 hours each day we are there, and planned for a couple off/rest days.  We commenced a vicious attack on the trees that came down from the storm.  It was cold and rainy, but we accomplished much.

Tuesday – day 2 – I learned more about chainsaw usage, and limbing trees.  Special treat today – we finished in time for me to shower away the smoky aroma and go to Knitting Group.  First time this year – and yet it felt like I never left.  These ladies are truly a joyful gift.  Just like going home.  It was cold and rainy, but lots of internal sunshine.

Wednesday – we took the day off.  Pleasant visit to the eye doctor with Mom to get the go-ahead for her second surgery.  So grateful for good healing for her.  We took care of errands and stuff around the house.  Finished the day with a walk with Bill, then I ran a couple miles.  Sunset found us sitting on the beach saying goodnight to the sun.  It was warm and rainy (really weird weather).

Thursday – day 3 of the attack.  2 trees done, 13 more to go.  Getting better with that chainsaw, and the loppers.  Visited Walgreens for a flu shot – and the really good pharmacist was not there yet.  He is much better at giving shots than the one that was working.  It was windy, cold, and rainy…

Friday – day 4 and we won the front yard!  It was – you guessed it – windy, cold and rainy.  Haven’t seen much of the sun all week, and with all the rain, I checked my location on my phone to make sure we hadn’t been relocated to Washington State!  Tonight was Date Night, and we picked up some necessities at the store.  Grocery shopping has to be done soon – or we are going to be on a water diet.

Anyway – thinking about caring for each other.  Thinking that this will be the subject of another post!

 

This picture came from our road trip this month.  At first glance, you see trees and rocks, and the waterfall is just out of the picture.  Look closer at the tree in the center of the picture.

The tree has obviously been here for a long time, weathered a lot of storms (this is the northwestern part of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula), and appears to be thriving.  Some of the roots are exposed, and it continues to reach and grow upward.

How can you look at this tree and not think about your own life?

I can see so many excellent opportunities for reflection and contemplation!

I want to keep my roots deeply embedded in the bedrock of my life – and if by chance some are exposed and perhaps even damaged – I want to realize that it won’t shake my foundation.  I want my roots to provide nourishment and continue to sustain my life even as I reach upward and continue to grow and receive nourishment from rain, storms, sunshine, air, (and snow).  I want to be able to bend and flex with the elements while remaining firmly anchored by the foundation I have built in my life.

As the seasons change, I want to remember the lessons from this tree.  Springs will bring new periods of growth, new leaves of discovery – unfurling and growing strong in the sun.  Summers allow for continued growth and production of seeds that will be scattered about to offer opportunity for new life.  Autumns will find glorious color changes in the mature leaves…signs that aging doesn’t have to be colorless.  As winters approach, dropping the leaves, and standing bare against cold and unfriendly situations – seemingly empty of life – yet it’s roots keeping it firmly anchored and sheltering it’s life force.  And as bleak as the winter may seem – knowing that spring is coming and the cycle will repeat itself.

We have an opportunity that the tree doesn’t, though…The opportunity to experience several “seasons” concurrently.  And we have the opportunity to choose how we respond to the seasons.

 

Are you more afraid of what others think of you – or what you think of yourself?

Are you more afraid of losing (having it taken away) control – or voluntarily relinquishing control?

Which is more worrisome – believing you are powerless to control your life – or realizing that you are more powerful than ever thought possible?

Which is scarier – continuing to believe that you have limits – or realizing that the limits in your life are largely self-imposed?

Is it harder to believe in yourself – or in others?

Is it more comfortable to believe that success lies just beyond your grasp – or that it is entirely within your reach…if you extend your arm?

Is it easier to just believe that people who are different are bad or not to be trusted – or open your heart and mind to welcome diversity?

Which is more comfortable – to believe that others are responsible for your happiness/unhappiness or success/failure – or to realize that YOU are responsible for those things (and then take action)?

Which is harder – to be honest in answering these questions – or to pretend you’ve never read this?

Are you worth it?

 

 

We returned home from our road trip today.  First time I have ever crossed the Mac Bridge with 50+mph winds (direct crosswind, at that) and restricted traffic on the bridge.  We knew it would likely be a rough crossing, and the possibility of being delayed on the UP side was great.  I was kind of surprised at how relatively easy it was – we just followed the instructions, enjoyed the fabulous sky and cloud formations, and took our time.

It always feels good to be “homeward bound”.  This trip was such a joy, so many happy memories were made.  Returning home with a heart full of joy is a good thing.  I am looking forward to future road trips to revisit the Farm.  We took several detours from our intended route and explored little towns.  One stop included a trip to the Ben Franklin store – and of course we found several things that we didn’t realize we really needed to acquire.  Another stop at a local yarn shop proved to be just as necessary.  I happily added to my yarn stash some gorgeous specialty yarns and patterns, and did some shopping for presents.  We stopped to refuel our bodies at a little bakery that offered fresh hot Cornish pasties while my new yarn was being wound into “cakes”.

On the drive home, I thought about how thoroughly enjoyable our time was.  There was no real agenda – other than for us to visit our family.  We opted not to go driving or sightseeing during our visit.  We simply spent time together chatting, catching up, and sharing memories.  No drama, nothing elaborate – but so full of goodness and happiness that it just overflowed and spilled out everywhere.

It was a gentle adventure and lesson about the importance of family.

Adventures…do they all have to be grand and glorious?  Filled with extreme challenge and uncertain outcomes?  When did drama become something necessary for fulfillment?  Drama in the workplace – that person who is the only one who can do the job right…every day.  Co-workers are incompetent, and the company can’t survive without the hero.  Relationships – if they are not dramatic and filled with complicated twists and turns – why stay in them?

I think that adventure, like happiness, can be a choice.  Adventure can be as simple as choosing to be aware of what is happening around you.  Consider a simple walk to the post office (or destination of your choice).  A trip you have made countless times.  You have a choice to be focused only on the destination, head down, and pushing forward to the destination.  You have made the choice not to find adventure or joy in your journey.  Now, take that trip and look around you – notice at this very moment what is happening around you.  Forget about the destination – be present in the moment for each step.  See the colors, smell and taste the air, hear the sounds, touch things.  If you’re having trouble with this concept, find a 4 or 5 year old to take with you.  Discover things – that is an adventure – maybe not full of drama and intrigue – but an adventure.

Setting goals or milestones is a good thing, but I don’t want my goals to overshadow the joy of simply being alive.  Gratitude, kindness, and compassion – great behaviors to take on an adventure.  Getting over oneself – finding joy without drama – living simply – ideas to consider.  Reaching out to help others – great foundation for adventure.

#UFY, #FOE, #breathe, #now

 

 

 

Today was one of those rare, remarkable days that you want to go on forever.  One that you know you will hold close to your heart for a long time like forever.

We spent the day visiting with my Aunt and Uncle.  When I was growing up, their house was the stuff dreams are made of.  Affectionately known (at least to me) as “the Funny Farm”, it was full of a variety of animals, birds, and people.  I remember, as a child, thinking that it had to really cool to be able to have all those kinds of critters so close at hand.  I also remember hearing that the local schools brought kids on field trips to see “the Farm”.  When we would leave to return home, my Uncle (a hero in more ways than one – he was a BAKER besides having all those cool critters!) would send us each home with a giant donut.  A yeast raised donut, soft and warm, with a sugar glaze that was sticky and sweet and smelled amazing.  Mine always stayed in the box until we were well out of Minnesota, thru Wisconsin, and into Michigan.  Leaving their house always made me sad, and I would throw up at least once after we left.  No sense in wasting a perfectly divine donut – so it would wait patiently in the box for me, until I was done with the bucket.  My Aunt also worked at the store – and she had the coolest stuff inside the house, along with some houseplants that really fascinated me.  My cousins – I just knew they were the luckiest kids alive!

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to visit the Funny Farm – other than a quick visit to celebrate their anniversary.  Mom and I are on a road trip, and the Funny Farm was our target destination.

Today, I saw the Farm through the eyes of an adult while remembering what my childhood eyes saw.  The world could take a lesson in community from this magical place.  There are a few less critters, and a little less variety – but the diversity and community is beautiful.  The horses and the goat are fenced, the birds, ducks, chickens, geese, and guineas roam around at will.  The dogs get along with everybody.  I can just imagine how that absolutely would not work out well if they were all people!  And the people – I am certain that no one has ever been unwelcome at the Farm.  Aunt Estie and Uncle Floyd – Janet, Jackie, and Debbie – they are genuinely welcoming – open arms, hugging kind of welcoming.  Their kindness and love doesn’t stop with platitudes or pasted on smiles.  It runs through their veins, radiates from their heart – doesn’t seem to matter whether you walk on 2 legs or 4, you sport feathers, fur, or clothes.

The Farm is one of those extremely rare and precious places where you feel completely at home, accepted, relaxed, and loved just because you are you.  As I see it through adult eyes, I realize now the enormous amount of work involved to maintain this haven.  My respect for them is huge, and I treasure the incredible lessons that abound here.   They (my aunt and uncle, as well as my cousins) still have a heart for all living things…and I can recognize their compassion, acceptance, and love as the wellspring of joy and happiness that enfolds you at the Farm.

Tomorrow morning, we have to say goodbye and head back home.  I am already sad just thinking about it.  Puking on the way home is out of the question since I am driving.  That Dr. Seuss line about not being sad that it’s over, but being glad that it happened….yeah – still sad but very, very glad that it did happen.  I’m going to stop by the bakery – my cousin Janet has taken up the reins from my Uncle – and pick up a giant donut to take home to Bill.  And I’ll cry because our visit is over, but I will take so much love and grace with me.  And I’ll start planning and plotting another road trip to Minnesota.

Grace lesson?  Monumental!  Blessed beyond belief to be able to revisit the farm.  If I ever feel the need to run away from anyone or anything – I know where I will be headed!  (Ooooh – and I got to hold a hedgehog named Tink!  Be jealous – be very jealous!) Pictures to follow in another blog post…

Last week was an interesting week.  Some wins, and some challenges.

A challenge/win that I am particularly pleased with came in the form of swimming.  About a year and a half ago, I decided that I wanted to start swimming again (because somewhere in my weird mind, triathlon sounded intriguing).  My previous swimming knowledge and experience ended in high school PE class, other than swimming/playing in the pool with the kids.  It was particularly alarming and dismaying to discover that putting my face in the water had suddenly taken on new dimensions of terrifying.  Intrigue and curiosity won out, and I signed up for swim lessons.  It was a slow process, finally got past the face in the water issue, and then developed problems with knee pain when kicking.  Adjusted course and started using a pull buoy for my legs, making each swim session an arm workout.

The pool I have been visiting is home to a high school swim team.  I have been watching the session workouts posted by the coach, and was intrigued by the use of paddles, fins, and “snorks”.  The last few sessions had the team using these three for most of the workout.  So, I figured, why not?  I had access to all three, but never tried them in combination.  BINGO!!!  Last Tuesday, using various combinations of those three little pieces of swim magic, I swam 40 laps – approx. 1.25 miles.  (And in just a little over an hour – which for me is GREAT!)  With no pull buoy, with no knee pain, with face in the water.  True – that little experience completely kicked my @$$ for a day or two – but the joy totally overshadowed it!

Another win was completing the Mackinac Island 8 mile – #2 of the Trio.  Time was better than my first attempt, weather was totally different.  As soon as that was over, we headed downstate for a muscle car show – another great day!

The second challenge – and one I truly appreciated once it was over – was my long run on Saturday.  I decided to combine it with a virtual run I had signed up for in May or June – a half marathon that I could run at my convenience.  Saturday dawned hot and humid – my very least favorite running conditions.  However, I needed to get the miles underfoot, and I really wanted to open my package with the medal in it.  My personal deal was no opening the package until I had solid proof that I had logged the distance.  My running prospects were pretty limited on Saturday – there was a lot of road construction and heavy traffic where we are staying – and I opted for safety instead of scenery.  My running path ended up being the campground – a ½  –  ¾ mile loop of dusty gravel road.  I read an article about dreadmill and track running that suggested one could build mental toughness by overcoming the boredom of repeated circuits on these instruments of torture.  I hope that is true!  13.1 miles is a lot of loops.  The middle miles were so tough – I wanted to quit, I came up with a gazillion reasons that it would be okay to quit.  Then the heat and humidity kept rising, giving me more excuse.  Somewhere in mile 8, I met myself on one of the loops, and had serious self-discussion about why I was doing this.  By mile 9, mostly walking now, I decided that 4.1 miles was totally manageable.  I needed to nail this distance, and quitting was not an option.  Proud to say I was able to open my medal!

Yesterday, (challenge #3) I had Bill coach me through a few take-offs and landings since it had been a while.  I am noticing a shift in my mindset about flying.  Too long a story to delve into now, maybe later.  The important part for me – another win – is that it is a positive shift.  Caught me completely unaware – and like the swim and the 13.1 miles – made me want to shout from the rooftops with the deep personal joy I was/am experiencing and weep with gratitude.

Those three “hard” challenges with filled to overflowing with the sweet joy of grace and gratitude.

 

I am a believer in the idea that there are no random or seemingly unrelated series of events.  This time, it’s a recurring theme around goals.  Several daily motivational videos from an online bootcamp, some instructional material from a website for coaches, online discussion from a wellness website, and discussions with a friend have contributed to some deep thoughts, and one great AHA moment last night.  Talking on the phone with a friend this evening just reinforced the message.

Goals and dreams – gotta have ‘em, right?  I believe that goals and dreams are important – they help us map out our journey, bring some direction and focus, and just generally put a glint in our eye.  That is the upside.  What about the downside?  Letting yourself get caught up in a perpetual dreamer state – spending all your time dreaming about goals, thinking about them, and planning so they will be just right – and waiting for just the right time to start pursuing them.  And, since it’s not just the right time for *that* dream, we better find another one for the interim.  That right there is a vicious cycle all on it’s own.  Once you get beyond the dreamer stage – and actually take the first step for one of those goals – there is the temptation to let it take over your entire life.  Meanwhile – you’ve got 32 other goals that you identified while waiting to start this one?  This is what I have done in the past.  I wish someone would have had the kindness to point this out to me at the time (and yes, I did share a list of goals – maybe not 32 – but I came across the list the other day and laughed!) – but it’s good that I figured it out on my own.

It’s important to figure out if some of those dreams really belong to someone else.  I found several that I didn’t recognize at first glance.  Closer inspection suggests that they made it to the goal list because I thought they would please someone else (definitely not me!), or it was something that I ‘should’ do.  That is a topic for a different discussion.

The AHA moment…looking at that old list, thinking about the crazy, insane dream that just lit my fire, and combining all those non-random messages this past week.  As I was trying to fall asleep last night, God sent a huge GRACE fireball hurtling into my brain.  I have been too busy looking at the forest and not seeing my trees.  My *goals* (the big, hairy, scary ones “BHSGs”) have overshadowed – or more accurately – obliterated the journey.  This quiet voice whispered gently that I should take my eyes off the distant horizon and focus on just this day – this hour – this moment.  All I have to do is what I need to do today.

Instead of fretting about taking and passing the tests for getting an A&P license, I can focus on the joy of changing the oil in the plane and learning more about the airplane.  Instead of fretting about THE BHSG, I just need to do what is required of me today.  The race on Saturday – smiled my way through a humid, muggy, sweaty 5k today.

Instead of worrying about returning from our upcoming trip – in essence – planning the end before it has even started – I can focus on what needs to be done today.  Although it’s especially true for dreams – being able to break things down into small, manageable steps and having the rock solid faith that they will get you where you need to be – such an important lesson to remember.  I want to work on choosing to attack my BHSGs and my little goals the same way – one little bite at a time.  Today was not a particularly stellar day in some respects.  Technology was not cooperative, delays happened.  In the most important way – today was a humongous win.  I did my 5k, and congratulated myself for advancing that journey.  After that, it was easy to break down my other stuff into small, manageable bites.  I am headed for bed with a good feeling that I made progress in a forward fashion.  The forest is still there, but I am stopping to enjoy looking at my trees!  All it requires is an occasional glance to confirm that we’re still in the right forest.

 

HUGE grace lesson – self-compassion, compassion towards others, and so much less tension.

#phoenix, #soulfire, #now, #thismoment, #ufy, #foe

Recently I read a comment on a thread about how refreshing it is to find gratitude in the ordinary.  That is such a simple statement with profound implications.  To be able to rediscover gratitude instead of overlooking and taking those delights for granted.

This week has been filled with ordinary days, sprinkled with moments of extraordinary joy and sheer (and terrifying at times) insanity.  When I reflect on all that happened, I can see so many gratitude-invoking times, most often in the ordinary.

Monday took us to the airport to work on the airplane.  We were readying the plane for the installation of a new ELT beacon, by opening access and removing the old one for our mechanic.  It was challenging work, but Bill coached me through it and worked with me.  Tuesday was even better – 14 hours (a few of those were spent on running “in town” errands) working at the hangar, dissecting the cadaver plane, and then putting everything back together on 05A.  Some of my gratitudes from this experience include being thankful for starting an exercise program 4 years ago and yoga last year.  If not for those activities, I never would have had the agility or flexibility to achieve some of those positions I was in.  Thankful for Bill’s expertise and willingness to encourage my interests – and his incredible patience (I’m sure he could have done the work faster without my help).  Gratitude for some time working alone on the cadaver plane – to realize that I am learning and starting to connect a few very basic dots.

Wednesday was a work day – so very grateful to be able to work from home – with a job that is interesting and full of learning opportunities.

Thursday was our last monarch class – we learned how to hold them and tag them before releasing them.  One of the extra blessings here was the road trip with Mom, and the opportunity to talk about “stuff” – relive happy memories, plan for the future, and share joys and concerns.  Then we tried out our new knowledge – and tagged and released 6 butterflies.  Have you ever held a butterfly?  Or let it perch on your hand?  It’s like the magical feeling when your newborn grabs your finger – moments you never forget.  Not to mention the beauty in each unique life.

Friday started out with a 10-mile excursion around the lake plus a little extra.  Time to work on building endurance back up (obvious gratitude – building it BACK up – not starting from scratch) and doing it without the distraction of music.  Grateful that I am comfortable with my own thoughts for 10 miles – and that I accomplished the 10.  Grateful for the wonderful produce available at the Farmer’s Market, and taking the time to make apple butter and freeze some corn to enjoy later.

This weekend – more plain ordinary days – filled with catching up on little things, spending time with Mom making apple butter for the church bake sale, cooking and sharing a meal together.  Talking with both kids.  All of this – sprinkles of incredible joy in the ordinary.  Church this morning, joyful time of sharing with our church family.  We released 8 more monarchs this afternoon.  More joy….

Oh yeah – the sheer and terrifying insanity I mentioned?  I’m still working on believing I did what I did.  More about this another day….

Grace Lessons?  If plain ordinary days are like vanilla ice cream, my ice cream cone this week is so covered in sprinkles of joy – I can’t even find the ice cream!