Lert's Lessons in Grace

Bill and I completed the Lilac 10k today.  Such a wonderful day and full of some really important lessons.

We crossed the Start line and Finish line together – a great experience.

Leading up to this run, I was in a not so helpful frame of mind.  I broke the #1 rule about attitude – by letting another’s opinion have weight and importance.  I was pretty sure that the goal I had set for this run wouldn’t be met because of that.  My goal was to finish the course faster than when I did it two years ago.  When we crossed the start, Bill encouraged me to go ahead of him and each of us run our own race.  He has been doing his own training, and I have been interested in it, so stuck with him.  What a delightful experience.  Best of all – we crossed both lines together!

I did finish the course faster – by a nice margin over 2 years ago.  In fact, I was just short of a 10k PR.  Now, I freely admit that I am not fast by most standards – but that is not why I run.  I do what I do because it is important to me.  The physical, psychological, and spiritual benefits – and the joy of just doing it – that is why I run.  I run for me.

Lilac Lessons:

-My PR is just that – mine.  My 13 or 14 minute pace is as important to me as a 7 or 8 minute (or less) pace is to someone else.  It doesn’t make me less because it is longer.  So hell yeah – 13:36 is something to celebrate!  Because I’m not you – nor would I want to be.

-#1 rule about attitude – own my own attitude – opinions are only as powerful as you let them be.  Don’t rely on others to do your thinking for you.

-Be willing to try new methods.  Let go of expectations, let joy lead, and embrace different.

-The Hill – acknowledge that what may not seem like much of an obstacle to you may be a mountain to someone else.  Be respectful of fears and concerns – you never know what your “hill” will be, or when you will meet it.

-Joy is in the journey is always there – you just need to recognize it, welcome it back, and celebrate it wildly.

#neverquit, #mypace

 

 

What an empowering week!  Started marathon training, with training for a tri thrown in, and a few other races along the way.  It is so cool to see what resources become available when you are ready for them.  Bill and I are getting ready for a run tomorrow on Mackinac, and then a week of fishing and visiting in Monroe.

Change, as turbulent as it can be, is a good thing.  Seek it out, embrace it, and watch wonder unfold.  Be grateful for what went before, and be expectantly joyful in anticipating the future.  Be grateful for all the people that come into your life – as blessings and/or challenges – God put them there for a reason.

Keep a child’s mind and sense of playfulness, especially about new ventures.  Guard yourself from becoming so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you miss what is happening in the moment.  Be a person of your word – walk your talk.

Remember Ho’oponopono – I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you – live this frequently – to yourself and to others.

Think well of yourself, and treat yourself kindly, but remember Who is in charge.  The God who created this magnificent world also created you.  Not as an afterthought, but intentionally and with purpose.  Remember (or find) your purpose and live it!

This has been quite the week, and it’s only Tuesday.  We watched Facing the Giants on Sunday again – such a great movie!  Apparently it set the tone for the week.

I’ve been working on tackling a couple giant monsters – and I am winning.  We spent yesterday doing some serious clean up work at our little primitive cabin.  It’s been in our family since I was two (I’ll save you the math or guesswork – 54 years).  When I was around 5 or 6, I was stung multiple times around my neck and under my chin.  That experienced birthed a very unhealthy fear of bees/wasps/stinging insects.  I also stopped visiting the part of the yard where the stings happened.  Never been back to that area – I am really good at traveling around “that spot”.  Lately, I’ve been moving myself intentionally closer to bees, mostly around flowers, and taking pictures.  I also don’t get quite as nervous when they are in the vicinity (although I maintain a healthy respect due to an allergy to the stings).  Yesterday, I used the lawn mower, and walked “that spot” multiple times while cutting grass.  Seems like a little thing writing about it – but feels like a great victory!  There were even some bees and wasps in the area.

There is another giant, but we’ll just let that stay on the floor to be talked about another time.

If you’ve seen Facing the Giants, you will no doubt remember the DeathCrawl scene.  Always makes me think about what I am doing – and if I am giving it everything I have.  I usually also realize that I really haven’t – sometimes I wouldn’t even “make it to the 50”.  I’m at that point, again.  I am really excited about taking it back to the beginning of the field and making that crawl – on my own – and leaving it ALL on the field.  It feels exhilarating – something I didn’t expect at all.  Even more so because I know just how challenging this is going to be, and at the same time, I know I can make it all the way down the field to the end zone.  A few more giants are going to fall!  I am going to try to capture the journey here, because I know it’s going to be amazing!

Next weekend, Bill and I will take part in the Lilac Festival 10k on Mackinac Island.  Two years ago, it was my first 10k, and as I recall, my running goal for 2016.  Then I added the other two races to complete the trio so I could get an extra finisher’s medal.

For the past couple weeks, something has just felt “off” – hard to define, but that little niggle that lets you know something is different.  Of course, we have been traveling quite a bit, and catching up on many things that needed to be attended to upon returning to Michigan.  I was moving some stuff around, and came across my training journals from the past two years.  It was fun to see the increase in mileage from 2016 to 2017.  Then I compared it to 2018 – sad to note that my mileage is down considerably.  Not cool!  Coincidentally, my attitude and enthusiasm is down (duh…obvious connection).

This year, my goals (in my running world) are to finish the trio again, with better times than two years ago; a couple 5ks that look fun, perhaps the adventure tri, and a marathon.  From where I’m at right now, that all looks pretty far away.  I have completed all of these distances, so I know it’s possible.  The biggest challenge is to reignite the excitement – shake things up, find new resources.  I know that quitting is not an option.

I am looking forward to sharing the Trio – Bill has agreed to do at least the first two with me.  This is great incentive – because his walking pace is almost as fast as my ‘running’ pace.  I am hoping he will consider the last of the series also – a half marathon trail run.  I also have a friend that is hoping to join me for that one.  There are a couple races I will be looking forward to in FL when we return – and a great running buddy to share them with.

I know that the storm clouds are only temporary.  It requires some serious self-reflection, and re-evaluating my planning and training.  Being open to change, and ready to explore new horizons.  Brave.

This week marks a year of “full-timing” – life on the road.  It has been an amazing experience – full of many grace moments.  There have been some moments that were definitely NOT grace moments (and most of those were my moments).

We didn’t travel as much as we thought we would, but we were able to make a couple of spur of the moment trips that wouldn’t have been possible before.  We had a few adventures that weren’t planned – and were able to navigate those easily.

Lessons from Year 1:

~Take the chance.  Tomorrow is never guaranteed.  Mark Twain had it right:  “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.”  This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but if you are considering it – try it!  A brick and mortar building isn’t a mandatory component of “home”.

~Explore and appreciate our wonderful world.  It’s pretty amazing if you take the time to look and appreciate.

~Stop trying to please everyone else at your own expense.  “Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind”  Dodinsky.  Your happiness can not be dependent on pleasing others.

~Memories are portable.  The best memories are the ones you hold dear in your heart.  Know that when you leave your safe harbor, your memories are always there with you.

~Travel light.  You don’t need as much as you think, and it leaves room in your life for new stuff.

~Make time to listen to others when they share their stories.

~Count yourself blessed if you have someone to share the journey with.

 

 

As most of us probably are doing today, I am thinking about “Mother’s Day”.  Thinking about the two amazing people that call me “Mom” and how they prepared me for motherhood.  Traditionally, we think about what our mom has taught us in preparation for being a mom.  My parents gave me a wonderful childhood – so much so that I couldn’t wait to be a parent.  Then God introduced me to Bill – the very special, exactly right person He created to be my husband/friend/the list is long….

When I was pregnant with Beth (and no, this is not going to be a pregnancy review with details) – I had some challenges.  I learned that nothing is guaranteed, and life is indeed fragile and precious.  I learned how important it is to keep your toilet clean, because you never know when you are going to inspect it – up close.  I learned how wonderful Minute Maid lemonade and King Dons could taste, especially with cucumbers/onions/and the Dumont dressing.  I learned how to push back and stand up for my health (and that of my unborn child) when stress became overwhelming.  Finally, I learned that due dates are just estimates, and God’s timing reigns supreme.  I remember being terrified of holding that very, very tiny bundle – and realizing that she was dependent on us for everything.  I was fascinated at how much personality and attitude could be packed into 3 pounds.  And so, my opportunity to be called “Mom” was born.  Fortunately, she was (and still is) strong and resilient, and was very patient while I learned how to fill the “Mom” shoes.  I remember one of the baby cards we received, probably at a baby shower for her.  It said something to the effect that babies are a gift from God – he loans them to us for a while, entrusting their care to us – but reminding us that they are His children first.  That has stayed in my heart and mind.  We have been so blessed by these two incredible children He entrusted us with.

During my pregnancy with Walter (and by now, I was pretty sure that pregnancy was synonymous with ‘time of learning and preparation’), I discovered how wonderful Brussels sprouts tasted, as well as maple flavored oatmeal.  Both of which were on my  least favorite food lists prior to this.  I learned the various benefits of many different antacid preparations, and was grateful to NOT have morning communes with the toilet bowl.  I was introduced to stretch marks, and amazed at the stretching capacity of skin.  Around 6 or 7 months, I learned that when you can’t walk, you crawl – and you make it a game with your two-year old and the family dog.  We three saw everything from ground level – and learned patience; and marked pregnancy progress by my belly’s ground clearance.  About this time, I learned that quiet 2-year olds should probably be checked on, and purple crayons are not toxic to dogs – and Shelties look pretty cool with purple teeth.  And, once again, I was reminded that due dates were just estimates, and to learn to be flexible.  I learned that a quiet delivery room after birth is a scary thing.  Then I started learning about being a mom to a son, and I learned that having two children to love doesn’t divide the amount of love you have to give – it more than doubles what you have.

During all of this, Bill was rock solid.  Just what God knew would be necessary.  I knew too much about what could go wrong with kids courtesy of my pediatric nursing experience.  Bill knew about faith and resiliency.

This year, I received priceless gifts from the kids and Bill.  Letters from their hearts that made me cry – a whole bunch.  I am in constant awe of the accomplishments of Beth and Walt – their integrity, faith, compassion, commitment, love of life, patience…the list goes on.  They, just like their dad, are shining beacons of what I aspire to be.  Heck, I like just hanging around them because of who they are, what they are, and how much fun they are – and live in hope that their goodness rubs off on me.  (I am in constant awe of Bill simply because he tolerates me!)

Back to the letters.  Some of the gratitudes and inspirations that the kids and Bill shared were times that I would have considered to be NOT my best efforts at being a mom.  But they didn’t see it that way.  I didn’t realize how closely they were watching me (and do you know how scary that is to think about?).  So many times I have wished that I could have a ‘do-over’ and not say what I did, be more patient, be more health-conscious, be more or be less of so many things.  That is not possible.  Instead, I’ll just be grateful for the blessings I have, the fact that the kids saw good things and understood the not so good,  and the abundant grace in my life.  And I’ll take the lessons I learned and try to be more patient, more health-conscious, less judgmental, more giving, less taking.

Now, I’m going to settle in and watch them grow some more!

 

A couple weeks ago, I found what sounded like the perfect race event to wrap up our (at least for me) winter in Jacksonville.  It was a 5k/10k Walk/Run event held ON Jacksonville Beach, at low tide, and most likely excellent weather.  It even came with some pretty sweet bling/swag!  So, I sat my happy little self down and signed up for the 10k – after all, it was just a 10k…(and I did consult with my social secretary/financial manager for appropriate approvals).  Besides, I kind of liked the theme – “Never Quit” – and the website had some cool inspirational stories.

Shortly after I signed up, a friend agreed to try the 5k – she is new to running – and an amazing young woman.  She will be running circles around me very, very soon!  Bill jumped on the bandwagon and signed up for the 5k also.

Our race bibs had a place for us to write who or what we will never quit for.  Wow, when I started thinking about that, I realized there were countless reasons – and they wouldn’t all fit in that little space.  So I pondered…and pondered a little more.

Coincidentally – concurrently – I kept reading the same basic message in a variety of sources.  It’s not the first time that this has happened – and I think that God realizes that it takes more than one “in my face” message for me to get it.  Anyway, the concept was that of treating oneself with tenderness and compassion – the way you would treat someone that you love, respect, and admire.  In my mind, this was a big leap from just trying to be nice to myself – cut myself some slack sort of thing.  Even the yoga instructor encouraged us to embrace ourselves the way that God does.

Back to the bib.  After thinking about the kindness and compassion bit for a while, I decided that I would write “myself” on my bib.  I quickly got out the Sharpie and started writing before the guilty, doubting voices could kick in and persuade me to do otherwise.  I decided that by promising to never quit and never give up on myself, I would be extending that promise to all those other people that I had considered writing on that bib.  Really glad I used a Sharpie and did it quickly – because I would have changed that answer many times over.  Even more glad I didn’t.

This morning, we finished the run.  The weather was rainy/misty/windy/cold/gray – and a great day for a run?  This particularly run has a very strong patriot theme to it.  Runners are given the opportunity to carry the Colors (American Flag), and much emphasis is placed on military and first responders/police/fire personnel.  The National Anthem was led by a WWII vet that will be 100 in 2 months.  There were several other distinguished veterans there supporting the race.  We were asked to introduce ourselves to someone we didn’t know, and share our story about who/what we were never quitting for.  I met a young woman that was running for her brother – active duty and deployed.  When it was my turn to share, I was surprised at how emotional it was for me to express my reason.

I will be very careful about saying a race is “just a 10k”.  Sure, it is only 6 miles and some change.  The “why” is the kicker.  Let me share some incredible “whys” – besides the WWII vet, and the young lady running for her brother…there was the lady pushing a front-wheeled walker on the sand – finishing a 5k – I’m guessing she was recovering from a stroke.  The guy that I passed on the 10k route that had a very noticeable gait disturbance, every step looked to be a struggle – and a victory.  Three kids taking turns pushing an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair (think sandy beach).  All the really cool why stories I was privileged to hear when I asked on our journey.  My friend that finished her 3^rd 5k today, and PR’d.  Bill finishing the 5k (early morning, rain, cold, running on minimal caffeine, but supporting my crazy).  All the active duty men and women that came out to present us with our medals.  My “what/who” feels pretty insignificant compared to the incredible things I’ve seen and heard today, but I am incredibly proud to have been a part of this event.  It is my sincere hope/wish/intent to be a part of this next year, and to step up and carry the Colors for the 10k.

Give it some thought – what would you write on your bib?  Never Quit!

 

I am beginning to realize how much time and energy worry about the future and regret for the past has stolen.  The realization that goes hand in hand with that is the amount of power I surrendered to the future and past thieves.

Someone suggested that fighting ‘what is’ is a personal choice for pain and suffering.  I really did not like hearing that.  Think about it for a minute…that suggests you are the one responsible for your own joy and happiness – or pain and misery.  Like – you really have a choice!  Ever heard this one:  People come into your life as a blessing or a lesson?  Same with a situation.

Instead of wasting precious time and energy on worry and regret, redirect it into fully living and enjoying this very moment.  When you do this – consider the gift you are giving yourself:  instead of a future to fret about – one to anticipate; and instead of a past to regret – one to remember with a smile!

I came across the information for finding out how much time, and where that time is spent using my iPhone.  Why?  I read an article about phone/tech addiction.  Yep, it’s a real thing – but that is no surprise, is it?  When was the last time you were anywhere, and saw people actually talking to one another without having the ever-present phone at hand?  Guilty!

Try this – turn your phone on, and tap on Settings.  Scroll down to Battery.  Scroll down to Battery Usage.  You have a choice to see the last 24 hours, and the last week.  To the right of those two choices, you will see a little clock.  Tap on that clock to see that amount to time spent in either that last 24 hours, or the last week in each app.  (There is a breakdown of time when the app is just running in the background.)

Next, do a search for one of the following:  iPhone addiction, tech addiction, social media addiction…read some of those articles.  It’s a real thing!

Cell phones and computers are not evil.  They are a tool – just like a hammer or screwdriver.  Used correctly, they help the user build something useful.  Used incorrectly – or abused – they are destructive.  By itself, the phone/computer/hammer/screwdriver can not create or destroy anything – it is how they are used.

I watched what appeared to be a father and son (early teens) in a restaurant.  The only communication was with the waitress to order food – otherwise, they were both glued to their respective devices.  I remember when computers became available to purchase for home use, and one of the concerns voiced was children learning to use keyboards.  The concern was that handwriting would become a rarely used form of communication.  Look at us now….we are becoming a society that doesn’t communicate verbally.  Where is the grace in this?  The warmth of face-to-face communication and sharing smiles, hugs, tears, sorrows, and joys?  We are becoming a society of isolation.  In that isolation, we can create our own fantasy world, build the ordinary into drama, and escape reality.

Here is my challenge, and I invite you to join me if you choose – I am going to “log my time” – write down my usage of my phone for the past 24 hours.  Then, tomorrow, I am going to do the same.  My goal is to decrease the amount of time lost, and increase my “real life” time.  I already spend enough time on the computer for work – it’s time to get back to talking, touching, feeling.  A quick text to say everything is OK, an e-mail to exchange information quickly – otherwise – talk in person, if distance is an issue, talk on the phone.  Hear a voice, practice verbal communication – what a novel idea!  Spend quiet time unplugged – reacquaint yourself with….you!

Yesterday was a life-changer.  A couple weeks ago, I signed up for a 5k Color Run.  I knew I needed a boost in my fitness efforts, because they were in a downward spiral and I felt like I had lost control.  Color Runs are just plain happy events.  Not about times, paces, or finish lines – but instead filled with laughter and color – lots of color!

As the event came closer, ideas started to form.  Then the doubts started to attack – what if I can’t finish?  On the inspiration-desperation spectrum – I knew that I had just hit desperation.  I decided it was time to show myself what I was capable of accomplishing.  With some heartfelt prayers, careful planning, checking weather and tides, I crafted a plan.  Didn’t discuss it with Bill, my coach, or my friends.  I did tell Bill about it after I had it figured out – and he offered to be a support/staging team.  It was really tempting to take him up on the offer, but I declined – asking only that if I called him to come get me, that he would encourage me to finish unless it was physically not possible.  This was between me, myself, and I.

Yesterday was almost perfect for what I had planned.  Except the winds.  But hey – it wasn’t raining!  We started out with the Color Run – absolutely fun, delightful to see so many families out, kids laughing, and all of us drenched in color.  Then, I just continued – stopped by to pick up my backpack filled with everything I thought I would need to carry me another 23.5 miles.  In retrospect, I over-packed – but I also discovered some new snacks that are going to become part of my T & T fueling options.

Time was not my motivator – it was purely distance.  I actually surprised myself with my time, especially considering carrying the backpack, the soft sand, and winds.  The distance – what an absolute joy!  I didn’t use music, podcasts, or audiobooks to entertain myself.  I started with a smile, and honestly never lost the smile.  I didn’t stop to look at shells, or look for shark’s teeth.  If my thoughts started wandering, I brought them back to the moment.  To the step I was taking at that moment, with curiosity for the next step.  I did chat on the phone with Walt for a bit, and checked in with Bill to reassure him that all was going well.  Bill surprised me around mile 22 on the beach with Piper – stopping me just long enough for a hug and a kiss and wonderful words of encouragement.  Then he met me at my finish line.  There were no medals, no race or finisher shirt, no post-race parties.  I didn’t need them.  All I wanted was accomplished.  All I needed at that moment was there – Bill waiting with my hug.  (And Piper with puppy kisses.)  Then came the happy moments of sharing with my family.

The “marathon” concept no longer scares or shames me.  I went farther, and could have actually kept on going.  I didn’t need to, though.  I learned much about myself yesterday.  I AM stronger than I think, more capable than I am aware, and braver than I thought possible.  My “brave” is mine and mine alone.

My lessons from yesterday –

~With God, all things ARE possible.

~I am stronger than I know.

~I am capable.

~My joy doesn’t come from other people.  Instead, when I operate from joy and love, I can give and love more fully.

~Drama is self-created, when you feel insecure and need attention or distraction.

~Comparison, as they say, truly is the thief of joy.

~Choose your personal power team wisely.

~Focus on now, this moment, and let go of the past.  Don’t fret about the next step – just take this step now.  The next step will follow.  Worry won’t make it better, instead, it will steal the happy out of this step.

~Keep color and laughter close and present.

~Freely express your gratitude to God.

~Freely express your gratitude to others.

~I am enough just as I am, and excited to see what that will look like as each day arrives.

 

Find your Grace Lesson – I wish you joy on the journey, and a journey that has no end!